Friday 6 August 2010

Lordy lardy!!

I’m so happy to be back on the water! Even if it’s only for fairly short outings at the moment, I’m going to be on day five tomorrow and I’m looking forward to the next, err, couple of years! Obviously this is broken up into manageable chunks and short term goals and targets along the way. I have a tendency to look at the top of the ladder and only think about the top, and not the individual rungs I have to climb to get there. So, each training block is a step towards where I’m going, and I have had to bear all of this in mind when making some pretty tough decisions.

I’ve done the maths, worked out the time scales and it has become clear that between financial constraints and the issues surrounding the passport situation, New Zealand isn’t going to come off. It’s an awfully long way, and even without the stress of whether or not the new Zambian constitution is in place in time for the passport application to go through, we’re looking at multiple thousands of pounds to get both Julia and I over there, with flights, accommodation and food, not to mention the boat transport and so on as well. At best I would have four races, and potentially only three depending on how things go, which equates to over £1500 per race! When you self fund, you have to ask yourself whether that sort of sum would be best spent elsewhere, such as on camps, more “local” races in Europe and on the main goal for 2011 - the All Africa Games in July which is the Olympic Qualification event for Africa. I think that if I had realistic chance of knocking on the door of a medal on the limited amount of training and preparation I’ve been able to do, then perhaps the Worlds this year would be a goer, but we just don’t have that luxury, and certainly not the luxury of a national federation who have a lot of resources to send athletes that far.

So, in some ways, I will have had to miss out on so much this year, but in comparison to last year where I wasn’t able to do anything at all, I have also achieved quite a bit too. I need to keep the perspective and keep my eyeses on the prizes, focus in and use the time that I have between now and the AAGs intelligently and to my best benefit.

On another, quite unrelated note, I’m going to have a moan. I was out walking the other day and I saw a couple walking their golden Labrador. So far all OK. However, this animal was so hugely fat that the poor thing could barely waddle faster than a crawl, and there was certainly no way the butterball could have jumped to catch a ball!

It then brought to mind parents who allow their children to become obese. We would berate a pet owner for not treating their animals in the right way by overfeeding them and not exercising them correctly. Why then do we not take parents to task for essentially sending their whelps into bad health, social exclusion and an inability to partake of the things that normal children can do, such as running around the park and so on? It all makes me very cross.

And before anyone comes back at me for being fattist, I have been obese myself and managed to drag myself out of it; I have been on the receiving end of bullies, snide comments and exclusion from activities. I remember going to St Gilgen with friends while I was studying in Salzburg, and we all went waterskiing. Well, I should say, my friends went waterskiing and when I asked if there was time for me to go (admittedly I was about 80kilos at the time!), the woman looked me up and down with a sneer on her face and said, “For you?” I still suffer from loose skin on my thighs and stomach, which I will never get rid of, and I still look in the mirror and dislike what I see there. When you are used to seeing yourself a certain way, and when the messages you have heard for years are ones of negativity and derision, it is that mentality that sticks the most. The below was taken on the way to my worst....I think I started avoiding the camera after this!!

Phew. Rant over.

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